Copyright jim ferguson 2018
bedtime
just
peace and quiet
)remarkable
sitting
-dead of
-middle of
-centre of
nucleus of night
as if the dark has a centre
breath in
breath out
keep going
because you can hear it
dead of night
is only absences
nothing real
absence of sun
absence of others
before a single slice
of dawnlight
tells you
you are lonely too
)fucker
No. 19 from
twenty fragments for Eva
19. often the rich complain
often the rich complain
that the poor are living too long
the poor just use up resources
that could better be used by the rich
those unproductive ones who live too long
are draining the rich of a source of their profits
yet i don’t see the rich all queuing to die
before their natural time – in reality quite the reverse
i wept for my wee dying mother
who didn’t have time
to do all the things that she wanted
all of her life she was poor
all of her life she worked in a job
where the air poisoned her body
i did not hear the rich complain
about such working conditions -
though they were busy aboard their yachts
catching sun-tans and sending out orders -
it is always all right for the poor to die this way
but the rich never say, please let me die this way too
hurt and happiness
sun rising just sky dark blue
birds sing in the high trees
park empty not quite morning
yet just the hum of occasional cars
she sleeps downstairs
being in work helps her sleep
makes it sound
i lie in bed and doodle this
hoping the hangover doesn’t
get worse all the time
spent drinking causes something
and there’s something
at the root of it too
something i do not understand
one sure thing is that it’s easier
to get started than to stop
stopping
the hardest thing is painful
sleep is fitful
the shakes induce a creepy fear
thinking of an epileptic fit
every muscle heavy and sore
twitching and tense dick
frances on the radio -a thriller
sunrise could be beautiful
and safe light as cloud
news on the radio
world service of the bbc
what does it mean to be in love
when all the news is tragic
bait to hook depression
when will it end?
the fear
the self-inflicted wounds -
things hurt
things give happiness
that’s about the way it goes...
